A Fresh Start

When I was younger I hated being away from home – I couldn’t even last the night the first time I went to a sleepover and had to beg my dad over my little flip phone to pick me up because I was “sick”. But once I reached my teens I often thought about running away – just packing a bag and slipping away into the night. Of course that would never work, I didn’t have money and I wouldn’t be able to get my medication without being traced. 

I realised about a year ago that I would meet the criteria for a degree in software systems development in an Institute of Technology in the R.O.Ireland after only one year of my BTEC course, making me only 17 when starting my degree. So I grabbed this opportunity as an escape route and applied to the Central Applications Office and I’m waiting for an offer. It’s very different to UCAS; everyone I know that has applied to UCAS this year already has offers from universities across the UK, but I have to wait until the summer to get any news. I wish that I’d get an offer soon since I feel bad telling tutors at my current college that I’ll definitely be back next year when I not so sure.

I don’t feel like I have much to lose from going to university a year early. I mean, I really enjoy my current course and leaving my drama group would break my heart but other than that I really don’t have much here. After the last few years all I want is a fresh start, a chance to put everything behind me and move on. Every nasty thing that I have done or has been said to me haunts me and while I may be in a better place mentally, I still need to get away from it all. I packed a little shoebox with my favourite books and photos, like a kind of memory box, and set it on top of the bedsheets that I bought for when I go. It seems silly, but looking at that box gives me hope for the future.

I’m still awful confused about student finance and booking accommodation but I don’t think that another year here would teach me those things. I may as well just pack my bags and cross my fingers and pray that some application offer takes pity on my plight and gives me a place. 

I know this post is a bit ramblely and unstructured, but I haven’t really told anyone in ‘real life’ that I might not be around next year and I just want to tell someone x

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