Body Confidence 

Body confidence is something that I generally lack. As a child I was bullied for being fat, and looking back on pictures I wasn’t really. A boy in my primary school class told me that I was diabetic because I was fat and at the time I did not have the confidence or understanding to defend myself. I hardly ate for a week after that, and became convinced that if I could be skinny – I wouldn’t be diabetic anymore. Of course, that’s not how type 1 diabetes works and I realised that as I got older but the body confidence issue has always stayed with me to a certain degree. It has always affected how I dress myself – I generally stick to skirts/dresses as I really dislike my chubby legs and knock knees – but today I managed to convince myself to buy skinny jeans and I honestly believe that they are the first proper fitting pair of skinny jeans that I have ever owned. Even though they’re from Primark and they are too long, I couldn’t be happier with them. I might have to shorten them with hemming tape but that’s the penalty of buying cheap clothes. The jeans are cosy and warm and I can’t complain. Maybe I do have a little body confidence.

Shoulder Pain and Spain

Somehow I have managed to badly hurt my shoulder and for that reason I just cannot sleep, so I suppose I may blog. 

I got a provisional offer from Diverbo this week which gives me something to look forward to. Diverbo is an English speaking summer camp in Spain for Spanish kids to practise English, but they rely heavily on native English speaking volunteers and that’s where I come into it. 

Hopefully, all being well, I will be jetting off to Spain in July for two weeks. I don’t exactly speak with received pronounciation, but I really want to help the kids trying to get a good level of English. It is all I can think about at the minute, aside from the stabbing pain in my shoulder. Once I get my confirmation of location I can book flights, which is really becoming a concern for me. When I first started thinking about the flights in January they cost €90 return, but now I’m looking at  €90 each way which will mean significantly less spending money.

As well, I’m worrying about clothes. I bought a lovely bikini bottom last year but never actually wore it since I don’t have a matching top. I was just considering wearing my bra with it, because in reality who can even tell the difference? But of course the Internet said not to do that; something about absorbancy and discolouration.

As well I need suncream, and lots of it. In another lifetime I swear I was an albino, because I just cannot cope with sunlight! I’ve started noticing my cheeks going red recently even though the temperature has not hit 15°C and it has been constantly cloudy.

As you’ve probably noticed by now, I do tend to work myself up over things that shouldn’t be top of my priority list, and shouldn’t even be worrying about for that matter. Thank you anxiety.

Drowning in coursework 

Assignment, after assignment, after assignment. The minute that I submit one, another one is published. And of course my AS in Spanish is creeping closer and closer. I glad that it’s the easter holidays now, since I really need a rest but I know that the sensible thing to do is to plough through the worst of my coursework so I can focus on my rapidly approaching Spanish exams. 

Compared to this time last year, I don’t have that same sense of sheer panic – like the walls are closing in on me. Being at college allows me a lot more spare time. At my old school, I arrived just after 8am and stayed at the library after school until 6pm almost every day. I probably spent around 48 hours there every week whereas even accounting for time spent in the library I only spend 25 hours at college nowadays.

I realise that the majority of my posts revolve around college life but that is my life and it makes me happy.